jag vet inte om jag ska skicka det här.. men jag vill.. vad tycker ni? ska ja skicka det...

Hey Margareth!
Its Helena, I hope you remember me! But I think you do! Im so sorry about Alan. It hurt me so bad when I got the news that he died. How is everything? I think about you and Jason all the time. I have moved away from my mother now. I live whit my husband in our own apartment in Jordbro. I got married. Whit a wonderful man named Pierre. Im so happy, but I still think about Mark.But on my weddingday I knew that he was with me. He was there and I hope he was happy for me. I miss him so much. I realy dont know what to wright. I just wanna say hey and that im thinking of you and Jason and Charlie.
Im so happy in my life right now, but its something missing and thats my "daddy",your son, Mark. I know that I should been moving on, buts its so hard. I dont have anyone to talk to about this. And I dont wanna put it all on you, but i hope this is okej.
Me and Pierre is thinking of going to England sometime this summer. But we dont have so much money and thats when I was thinging about you. I really wanna go and se you,Jason and Charlie. And I really want you to meet Pierre. So we were thinking of going to Bermingham and visit you. If thats okey with you maybe we can come live with you for a few days.
I will send you some picture from my wedding, I want you and Jason to see them. I realy wish you could have been there. Ever seens Mark died I have been wrighting poems. Thats my way of dealing with this. I dont know if you wanna see them, maybe its hard for you, but I really want you to know how I feel about Mark, and how much he meant to me.
"A Dad is a person, who is loving and kind, And often he knows what you have on your mind.He's someone who listens,suggests, and defends. A dad can be one of your very best friends! He's proud of your triumphs, but when things go wrong,
A dad can be patient and helpful and strong, In all that you do, a dad's love plays a part.
There's always a place for him deep in your heart. And each year that passes, you're even more glad, More grateful and proud just to call him your dad!
Thank you, Dad... for listening and caring, for giving and sharing, but, especially, for just being you!"
This is how i feel for Mark, i just wish that I could tell him how i feel. And now im crying again. I dont know what to say.
I just wanna know how you and Jason and Charlie is doing. I really hope you and Jason will answer this letter. Because I want you in my life. And I really wanna see you again, its been to long. 4 years, I cant belive that. Can you?! I´m sorry if I got you sad because I wright this things. But I dont have anyone to talk to about Mark. I feel so bad that I didnt go to the funeral. I regret it so much. I fell a emtiness inside of me and I dont thing anyting or  anyone can ever fill that space.
here are some more poems I wright for him.
I know Mark´s a star up in the sky.He shine brightest of them all. I wanted to follow him into the end,but something happend, to early..
He left us. Left us alone on this
cold earth. For days and weeks I cried,
cried and was nearly broken.

And then I saw a light, and I knew that someday
I will see him again, this isn´t the end, It´s a
begining of life after death.
I know he´s up there somewhere , a new star
begun to shine on the sky, that was him.
He´s up there with the other fishermen.

He never left us, he´s alwayz there.
I just miss him, but I will see him again, this isn´t the end, this is the begining .
That´s why I not say goodbye forever, I say: Goodbye for now, see you later.
Like a shooting star, he shine brightest of them all.


The tears I´ve cried, the tears that have fallen
wont help me to get him back .
The Angels just took him from us, took him
up to heaven , and leaved us here to cry.
My tears are rivers, my tears are oceans, but it still wont help, I wont get him back .
Mark, I miss you, and It hurts to know that
all this is over .

The tears I´ve cried, those tears were for you.

From the bottom of my heart I hope that you´ve
comed to a better place, where lies and liars doesn´t exist. From the bottom of my heart I wish that this isn´t the end, that I will see you again someday.

The tears I´ve cried, those tears were for you.

All my thoughts is directed to you, all my thoughts is conected to you, and I can´t sleep.
Those nights I´ve been struggelin to keep my hope up, those nights were just terrible.

The tears I´ve cried, those tears were for you.

I will alwayz remember you, you will alwayz have this little special place in my heart. I will alwayz remember those good times you gave me, and that good music you did. You are somewhere up there, and when I come there too, I will find you..

The tears wont stop falling, the tears I´ve cried, all those tears were for you . I love you <3

I hope I´ll get a letter back from you. Or a call. You, or Jason can call me when ever you want.
Heres my adress


I love you all and give Jason and Charlie a big hug from me. You can give Jason my numer to if he want to text me lite we did before. I miss that. I miss itsy witsy spider..haha! My numer is...